Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Taxes

by Nathan Stout (of AccordingToWhim.com)

Taxes. They are the fuel that runs the government. The government could not run if it collected no taxes. The US federal government collects about 3 trillion in taxes a year.

With that said there is a lot of talk about taxes in the news right now. We have 2 sides of the argument:
  1. The government needs more money.
  2. The government needs to cut back on its spending.
So the solutions to these problems are:
  1. The government needs to raise taxes.
  2. The government needs to cut back on it's spending.
But wait.... I have an alternate solution! Why not get money from a different source that taxes??? I have a stellar suggestion!!!

This is great. I'm giddy with excitement at my cleverness. It will make the liberals happy and the conservatives happy. 

So... there is an estimated 11-12 million 'undocumented' aka ILLEGAL people in the US. Now that is just a 'estimate' since we don't really know because they won't get up and declare themselves so.

Why not offer the long fought for 'Dream Act' of letting illegals become citizens. My plan alters this by adding a fee to becoming a citizen. Pay something like $1,000 a person and poof... you are a US citizen.
  1. This would create 11 billion dollars in revenue!
  2. This would allow illegals to become citizens!
  3. This would put 11 million people on the tax rolls!
KAPOW!!!!!!

This satisfies liberals looking to let anybody become citizens and satisfies conservatives because these free-loaders would now be life long tax payers! Win Win!

WINNING!

Tell me that's a stupid idea. It's not. It's pretty awesome. That's turning a liability into a assert...

Things were going great until someone pointed something out to me. Once you get these guys on the payrolls what sort of jobs will they be doing? Probably the low wage jobs they are doing now... only NOW they will be able to start drawing on government assistance like food stamps and Medicaid.

LOSING!

Never mind.

PS: One more tax point. I have noticed that every time the current accidental tourist in the White House talks about the need to raise taxes he always talks about 'millionares' and 'billionares'... the taxes he is proposing raising starts with couples earning $250,000+ a year. Not just millionaires and billionaires. Also I noticed he never admits he is a millionaire... that probably eveytime he talks about these rich people he casts them in some sort of evil light. Just sayin'

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