Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Trainwreck Idol: Auditions from Milwaukee and Nashville

by Chris McGinty (According To Whim .com)

Man, with the big game coming up, I’m surprised I even have time to worry about something as insignificant as American Idol. How can I worry about whether or not some teenagers sing well, when I could be examining the Steelers and the other team that is playing? My dad is a Steelers fan. That’s the only reason I know that much.

So I guess we’ll instead deal with the not so big match between Milwaukee and Nashville, the two cities that were featured for auditions this week. I’ll just tell you right at the beginning, neither was very good, and I don’t have a whole lot to say. Eh.

The first episode was the Milwaukee auditions. Former contestant Danny Gokey was hanging out in the parking lot, and I would totally make the joke about, “But he has to buy tickets like everyone else,” except that I think the NFL has copyrighted the joke, and will piss in my Super [sized] Bowl of Post Toasties if I use the joke in here.

I only deal with people who got sent to Hollywood this week, and we’ll start with Scotty. And then I’ll catch up on my technical journals… That’s the trouble with obscure jokes. This guy was too much country twang for me, but he was good as a Randy Travis Tritt wannabe person. Simon would have said no, because he does not have a pop singer’s voice, but Simon isn’t here anymore is he? Nope. He’s doing some television version of a Marvel comic. What? Really? Oh, well they should have gotten the same protections as the NFL did then.

Next was this girl named Emma. I rather liked her. She sang “True Colors.” She sounded like she was imitating Cyndi Lauper, which is not a big deal since she sang well, but sometimes the judges worry about sounding too much like the original artist. Jennifer Lopez said no, thinking she wasn’t ready for the competition. She’s better than many who have gone through though. She did get two yeses, so hopefully almost not making it will push her to do better.

Naima was quite good. Very likely Top 12 material.

Jerome seemed to be a bit much, like he was overdoing his vocals, at least to me. But he did do well, and the judges seemed impressed.

At this point in the show they made a point about having lowered the age to audition to 15. And that’s when they showed Thia’s audition. She was quite good as well. They pointed out that all the 15 year olds got through to Hollywood so up to that point in the Milwaukee auditions, and they verbally patted themselves on the back for making such a brilliant decision. Go Team Idol! *rolls eyes*

Molly was really good. I’m not sure if she’ll be Top 12, but definitely Top 24. Randy punched her.

Haley wasn’t as good to me. I thought she was all over the place… What? Yes, Randy punched Molly. Listen, I was just complaining about this Haley girl being all over the place, and then you’re making my review go all over the place.. Fine. It was an accident. Randy was running through the crowd giving high fives, and he accidentally popped this Molly girl in the face. Happy? So Haley… Haley was returning after not making it through. If she reels it in a little she could do well, but it was a bit much I thought.

Next was Tiwan. I like this guy. He did “Twistin’ the Night Away,” and it sounded very good. I have hope for this guy, though I wonder if he’s Top 12 material. This was the funniest part of the show too. He came out with his ticket and his friends and family were jumping around, and one of the women got a Charlie horse. They were playing Aretha’s “Freedom” and when the Charlie horse happened they cut the music, and then they tried to play it again, and then cut it again. It was just funny as hell, and I guess you just had to see it.

Steve’s last name was Behgun, or something like that, and he made a joke about being a “big goon.” He had such a dry personality, but he could sing. Not great. But he could sing.

Scott Dangerfield was next. I took down his last name out of respect for the fact that there was another Scott earlier in the show. He was pretty good. They were all about him. I wasn’t quite as excited.

Alyson reminds me of Carly from a few years back. The judges were split, but she wasn’t bad. She needs to refine it a little bit before Hollywood though.

Chris Medina was next. I took down his last name because everybody is named Chris. This Chris is possibly Top 12. He’s got a very natural sounding voice.

So finally, the two hour Milwaukee show was done, which I was happier about than you might think. And now I was on to the Nashville one hour show, which was somehow worse.

Chelsee and Rob auditioned together. There was some odd thing about how they were once together romantically and sang together, but it just didn’t work out, and she’s convinced that they’re great friends still, but you can tell he’s miserable being around her because he’s still in love with her. And who cares, right? Singing competition. And while both were good, I don’t see either going very far. Maybe he’ll move on after this. Maybe she’ll start spelling her name standard. Oh the drama!

Stormi was Miss USA at one point. The judges were split, and so was I. I didn’t like her overall voice, but I was impressed by how well she handled acapella singing. Odd huh?

Adrienne was pretty good actually. I’m not sure what I think of her long term chances, but I am impressed.

Jackie had a good voice. Like with Tiwan, who I spoke about earlier, I’m wondering what her genre range is. I wonder if she’ll do well with different song styles, but the judges seemed very impressed.

Then they did three guys right in a row, and they didn’t give them much time.

Paul was ok. But he sang “Maggie Mae” by Rod Stewart? Does anybody actually think that song is good?

Jimmie did pretty good.

Danny I liked. He did “Papa Was a Rolling Stone,” and I thought it was well done.

Matt… Well… I don’t know. Jennifer said no, and I’m inclined to agree. He’s probably not good enough to make it through Hollywood.

Lauren was the last audition of the city, and the only one on the Nashville show that I think could make it to Top 12.

As far as my predictions for the big game, I’m going to say Steelers 27 – Other Team 14. Though at Halftime it won’t seem like my prediction will come true because the other team will already have 21 points, but by the end of the game you’ll see. I’m not actually sure what you’ll see, but you’ll see something. Also, expect the game to be fraught with tension, not because of the game drama, but because I’ll be wrestling with whether I should blog about how insane we get about highly publicized competitions, or if my time would be better served watching American Idol and writing about that instead. Oh, and somebody with a name that starts with R, maybe C, will be injured, though not badly, by somebody named Alphonso Alejandro Zimmerman-Blake III, born December 12, 1989 at 2:23 am, in either the third or fourth quarter.

No comments :

Post a Comment