Saturday, July 31, 2010

A Star Trek Top Ten List

by Chris McGinty


I found this recently among my stuff, and thought it was reasonably funny. I decided to present it here for your amusement. It was clearly written sometime when “Star Trek: Voyager” was the most current series.

The Top 10 Episodes of Star Trek We Hope to Never See

10. Data is short circuited in an attempt to assimilate him into the Borg collective. Believing he is starving to death, though it is not possible, he makes a meal out of the enemy in, “Smorgas-Borg.”

9. “For Fuck’s Sake Kate Just Kiss Him”

8. Odo is assigned to protect the governor’s housekeeper in, “You Want Me to Get That?”

7. Next week’s episode of Voyager.

6. When a space anomaly brings out the deepest emotions of the crew, Deanna Troi steps forward to empathically act out each and every last crew member’s feelings to save them in, “Empaths of Glory (Parts 1-3.)”

5. “Risapalooza” with special guests: N’Sync, Backstreet Boys, and Brandy.

4. Intergalactic hippie vegetarians sing about the harm in eating animal flesh in, “Let that Be Your Last Cattlefield.”

3. “Spock’s Brain”

2. A space/time rift pulls Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura from the past to present day Deep Space 9 in, “Bottom of the Barrel.”

1. “Do you William T. Riker Take Jean Luc Pucard to Be Your Lawfully Wedded Husband”

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