Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Current Events or Whatever

by Chris McGinty

It’s current events time. Remember current events in school? Go home. Look through the newspaper. Cut out an article. Write something about it. Get a grade. Who knew we were being trained for writing blogs?

Paul McCartney is playing at The White House Wednesday. Sorry, Sir Paul McCartney. The greatest Beatle since John Lennon is playing for the greatest president since Bill Clinton. I’m kidding. I’m just trying to get under Nathan’s skin. He’s always been more of a Ringo guy.

Speaking of presidential crap meets rock ‘n’ roll crap, former president (hee hee hee) and anti-rock music but pro-environmental nonsense advocate Al Gore is divorcing long time wife and first amendment hating woman thing Tipper Gore. The couple is best known for their work at calling themselves Democrats when they were clearly just idiots. Here’s my thought. A high profile couple like that; one of them needs a reality show. How about this? We put Al Gore on “The Bachelor” and let America vote on the winner. Then we ignore the results, and assign somebody. And then rather than making Al Gore happy, she screws the country for eight years.

This just in: ______ went on record today as saying that _______’s speech/views/philosophy (circle one or fill in the following blank_______) is eerily reminiscent of Nazi/Communist/Socialist (circle one) beliefs.

The Scripps National Spelling Bee is scheduled to start Wednesday. The finals are scheduled for Friday. I have no official statements about the contest, but supposedly Albert Einstein said that when there are no more spelling bees, man will stop reading in four years time.

There is apparently some oil in the Gulf of Mexico. Reports are coming in from all over that no one is reporting on the spill.

Eh, that’s all I have for today. I was always willing to get by with a C- (or less) in school. Why go for extra credit here?

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